SEX IN THE COUNTRY: Anthony Weiner and the Decline of Modern English

Am I the only one who noticed how god-awful the actual content of the Weiner sexts was?  If you’ve ever read Penthouse “Forum,” you know that stuff is like Shakespeare compared to the Weiner sexts. (Yes, I realize those are prolly not real letters, but still.)  It’s hard not to feel bad for a guy who went down for such bad writing, and didn’t even get laid in the process.

First of all, and worst of all, the Weiner sexts lack any semblance of narrative structure. There is no build up, suddenly her panties are wet – that’s the second line! There’s no context, maybe she pissed herself.  There’s no setting, no preface, just straight to the middle of the story. My 6th grade English teacher taught me about the beginning, middle and end.

Second of all, the sexts are trite and adjectival, not action-based.  This is bad writing straight out of Strunk & White. “I’m like a rock” and “I’ve been told [I’m] really good at [sucking cock]…I love to do it.”  Where’s the specificity?  Where’s the cause and effect? You can say the above to anyone, any time. I’m good at sucking cock – see?

Third of all, the sexting leads nowhere.  Weiner makes no plan to see the girl, hook up.  It’s completely cold and disembodied. A friend once told me that all we humans are trying to do on this planet is connect with each other, achieve intimacy.  It’s didn’t ring true at the time, but I have since tested it out and it’s accurate.  The Weiner sexts fail at this as well.  The connection they achieve is weak and easily broken, as evidenced.

Lastly, Weiner sent a crotch shot.  This is the latest thing – hopefully, after the backlash on the Weiner scandal, men finally realize this doesn’t turn women on.  We don’t need to see a pic of your dick.  Maybe it’s cultural – women’s bodies are fetishized in America, men’s are not. I do appreciate the crotch shot though as corroborating evidence: glad to see that Weiner was honest about the size – fatal to oversell that.

As for whether sexting constitutes cheating, I think not.  I wouldn’t be thrilled to discover my husband doing it, but stand-alone, it’s pretty harmless.  The fear is that it won’t stop there.  My only comfort would be that most people out there are terrible writers.

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3 Responses to SEX IN THE COUNTRY: Anthony Weiner and the Decline of Modern English

  1. Pingback: SEX IN THE COUNTRY: To Cheat or not to Cheat | poppyck

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