Big Love, the HBO show that featured the day to day living of a man with three wives, has ended, but if you’re craving polygamy television still you can watch the reality show Sister Wives on TLC, which is based on a real life family trying decriminalize polygamy. But it occurs to me that there’s a hole in our programming – what about a show featuring one woman and several husbands?
Of course, as previously discussed, we know that Americans do not admire women who sleep around the way Strauss-Kahn’s wife admires her husband Dominique as a seducer. But the boundaries on that topic are starting to stretch and bend a little. Female leads in Bridesmaids and the upcoming Anna Faris movie What’s Your Number? manage to be sympathetic and sleep around. So what about one wife, three husbands, CBS?
It really makes more sense that way. First of all, women are multi-taskers. They can handle more than one thing at once. Men are mostly single-minded. Both approaches have their advantages, but when it comes to having an affair, I agree with Chris Rock: it’s difficult enough for a man to handle one woman, much less scheduling two. Women on the other hand, thrive with multiple lovers, he says. “’Ahh, I just got me some dick. Now I can get some work done.’”
The other advantage is that allegations of rape and underage sex pretty much evaporate with a woman at the helm. No female counterparts to Warren Jeffs. Raping an underage boy by way of straight sex is virtually impossible. And the men I’ve talked to who have had early sexual experiences with older women, describe them in the most glowing terms. (In fact, my husband hopes our son will find just such a person to teach him.)
Still it sounds like an almost impossible scenario. The French feminist Elisabeth Badinter says that American women are victims of their own cult of “motherhood fundamentalism.” It’s this cultural construct that keeps women submissive, out of the workforce, and imprisoned by monogamy while enslaved to their babies. In France, only 15% of women decide not to return to work after motherhood – the ratio is identical, but reversed in Germany and the US. Perhaps this is why Badinter claims French women are sexier, and have better sex lives than American women: because their lives center around intercourse with adults, not children.
Still, I’d like to see how a role reversal would work out. Perhaps the men would have to be kept in the dark initially, ease into the knowledge that they were multiples. Then, maybe two meet and become buddies. If the woman has decent taste, and the men have some things in common, they could become good friends. They can see Transformers and go to strip clubs together, while the intellectual one stays home and fucks the wife. Another night, she takes the two guy-guys bowling; the smart one goes to a (boring) lecture and the young guy (four’s an even number) stays up late to chat while the others are passed out. Yes men get jealous, but who gets more jealous than a woman?