I’m always worried the rich think I resent them. I’m surrounded by rich people, and I don’t resent them for the most part, or at least not for being rich. But now we know that rich people resent poor people – thank you, Mitt. How did I miss that? Is that part of the Mormon belief system? To look down on those who have less money?
As the campaign has worn on, I’ve tried to ignore Mitt, but it’s not possible. Guess what, Mitt. I hate you too. Here are the reasons why:
1) You’re stupid and wrong. People taking advantage of government services are not poor people – data shows it’s the middle class, actually. People who work for a living and pay taxes are Mitt’s enemies. Mitt doesn’t even know whom he’s hating on.
2) You’re a rich person who thinks he can buy his way out of or into anything, without a care in the world about its effect on other people. Obviously, Mitt’s family bought his way into Harvard, noting number one above. And he’s trying to buy this election by overspending.
3) You won’t release your taxes. Obviously, you’re not paying much in taxes, so what do you care how that money is used??? Let them have the luxuries like food and healthcare – you’re not even affected!
4) You are running for public office, but you appear to loathe the public. Why not stay at Bain where you can keep raping companies and put more Americans out of work all in the name of the almighty dollar? You’re going to need that cash to buy your kids’ way into Harvard after all.
5) Sorry, Mitt, but you’re ugly. You’re not handsome. You look like a blockhead from the Gumby series. And you make a terrible impression internationally.
6) Your wife is a robot. I think she may have escaped from Stepford…I’m alerting Katharine Ross.
7) You don’t apologize even when you’re wrong.
8) You fit the profile of a psychopath. See Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test. You’ll be amazed – Mitt hits almost every requirement.
9) My mother in law likes you. Yeah, it’s pretty bad. My kids have to ride around in a vehicle with a Romney bumper sticker. Hopefully they won’t be the victims of road rage. Romney seems like the kind of guy who would give you the finger if you tried to assert your right of way – as long as no one was looking that is.
10) You have too many children. Please stop procreating – haven’t you heard, we’re running out of resources. You’re kin are taking up more than their fair share.
Those are just the top ten that spring to mind. What do you think?