I’ve been thinking about this for a while – young women today often announce to their prospective partner that he can kiss her, or have sex with her as the case may be. Now, I was raised to believe that this was the wrong way to go. It takes all the fun out of the game, the mystery, the challenge. In the old days, I heard men say that the best moment is right before a girl takes off her clothes, because it’s all potential. But my husband says that women have to do that now because men are so confused by the signals and the verbiage about date rape; and are having anxiety over whether or not sex is going to happen. And the anxiety can be paralyzing.
On Girls, the characters often do the announcing bit. Yet, there is still a problem with confused expectations, because one man’s enjoyment may not be one woman’s. Apparently, people are outraged by the sex scene last Sunday, in which one of the characters comes on his girlfriend’s tits and she doesn’t like it. Personally, I found nothing offensive in that act. But it occurred to me that perhaps an answer to all the confusion is sexting. Maybe prospective couples should sext first, to see if they are sexually compatible. If your guy is talking about whips and chains, and your girl is more into silent sex with the lights out, then it’s prolly not a match. Why not save a little time and misery?
It’s hard to examine sexuality because you don’t want to fuck with what turns you on for fear you’ll never get hard/wet again. But the Girls episode Sunday shows that despite the sexual revolution of the sixties and seventies, there’s still a good amount of misfiring that happens between men and women. This is prolly aggravated by the fact that men have a greater difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality than women. I like the idea that a man has a little anxiety but he wants me so much he pushes through it to the first move. I guess I’m old fashioned, but I also don’t like being rejected.