The depressing coverage of the systemic sexual assault problems in the military, recalled for me some of my own past experiences as a civilian. I recently asked my little brother, who is 27, if he ever pressures girls to fool around after they say no. I was so impressed when he responded, somewhat offended, that he would never do something like that. He’s not interested in convincing a girl to do something against her will – he’s above that.
Would it be that all men were the same in that regard. I, and most of my friends, recall many sexual experiences wherein we wished someone had listened. I’m not talking about pushing someone’s hand away. I’m talking about when you’ve sat up and said no and he tries to convince you that you owe him “something.” Do some men get off on the coercion factor or are they really that desperate?
The irony is that you have to make yourself vulnerable to go out on a date in the first place. We do that because as humans we are desperate to connect to each other. When we find someone we like, we want to hold on. So we go out, and often enjoy ourselves. Enjoy making out too. But the experience is completely ruined when he starts a hard court press for penis in mouth/vagina/ass after you’ve said no. It makes it seem like everything that came before it was just a means to an end. And often, these are the same guys who never call again after. Hopefully it’s because they’re ashamed. Once the sexual offensive starts, it begins to look an awful lot like date rape, especially if he tried to get you drunk first.
We are well into the 21st century. The sexual revolution has happened, people. Men trying to guilt and shame women into sex are out of excuses. If you want sex, and you never want to talk to the person again, you have an option: pay for it.